Nothing happened; no one did anything

Recently, here in Rochester, two men got in an argument over a woman. One guy shot and killed the other. The media reported it thusly:

“Police report a man was found lying on a sidewalk just after 9 o’clock with multiple gunshot wounds. The man was taken by ambulance to a local hospital where he was pronounced dead. According to neighbors, shots were heard shortly before nine and a man was seen running from the scene. Minutes later, police apprehended a man nearby with a weapon. Investigators say the shooting may have been the result of a domestic dispute. They determined a weapon was discharged at close range. Police are trying to determine if there are other supsects.”

Hmmm, it seems no one really did anything here. No one actually shot anyone, rather a “weapon was disharged.” In other words, the gun did the shooting. The perpetrator didn’t run from the scene. No, he was “seen running” by unnamed others. The victim was not even allowed to die; no first-person verbs used here. He was “found lying” and “pronounced dead” by other unnamed parties. And, lest the media still be guilty of somehow implicating the “suspect,” well, they’ve excused themselves (and the shooter) by noting there may be other suspects.

Okay, at lunch today, no one will serve me food; my food “will be served.” I won’t pay for it; “money will be produced from my pocket.” If not, “a bad mood may descend upon me,” and “there may be Hell to pay.” Then Hell and the discharged weapon can serve time together, leaving me and the shooter to go free and unaccountable.

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5 Comments on “Nothing happened; no one did anything”


  1. You should read more post-modern fiction. The newspapers have nothing over the novelists’ ability to equivocate.

  2. Joseph Belle-Isle Says:

    A restauranteer found a large group of red ants devouring a mans reproductive glands in a bush by his restaurants back door. No one knows where the ants came from. That same day a well known local author was taken to a emergency room and charged $3,000 for a large band-aid and a pair of DEPENDS.

  3. MarkS Says:

    It’s called ‘objectivity’ or ‘reporting’ and means not passing judgement in advance. If that nasty rag of the D&C was a NY Post-style tabloid you’d have lots of ‘expressive’ prose in the article.
    But catching the perpetrator is the cops’ job, and passing judgement is the job of the courts. The newspapers’ job is to tell what happened… and to stick to what few facts were avaialble before deadline.
    To quote John Huston in the movie ‘Chinatown’; “You may think you know what’s going on here, Mr. Gittes, but you don’t.”

  4. Joseph Belle-Isle Says:

    Of course. It went over everybodies head because nobody did it. Including
    mine because I’d just woke up. But I’m serious about making deals with
    children killers. Why should we have to keep our word to someone like that?
    They aren’t a foreign nation we need to impress with our integrity. Oh
    yeah- I think I meant to say a well known author found the red ants and the
    restauranteer went to the hospital. I think all that nobody stuff started
    when the news could no longer say a crime was done by a black man and PC
    just became insane.
    And Television reporting has murderred the standards set by Edward R. Murrow of giving the pure facts so thinking people can make up their own minds. Now most of the nation gets it’s ideas not from what happens but how it’s favorite dinnertime TV personality rolls his or her eyes and makes faces. Do you really think Obama won the election? The fact that a black President sells twice as much airtime and newspapers is what got him in office-the attention. If it turns out he is as good as he talks it’s about time someone who can do the job ran that gauntlet.

  5. Joseph Belle-Isle Says:

    Also I should add we all need to be praying that Pres. Elect Obama is exactly what he say he is and realize that the internet has slandered everyone this century like no other media could. We need a pro labor Government and a military where West Point and Annapolis aren’t just stepping stones to high paying ‘We know our way around the rules on bidding’ jobs. College teachers actually think FDR ruined the country- then why was his picture hanging next to Jesuses in every home and business when I grew up? America spent billions rebuilding our enemies factories to the most modern standards after WWII so they could out compete our own, but that fact is forgotten with the fact that Pearl harbor was a sneak attack. Our kids drop out of school because we force them to be punished by fairies wearing womens earings and drooling on the boys. We’d better be able to do for our country what we did for our enemies and support detroit. In 1966GM had the 5th highest NATIONAL GROSS PRODUCT in the world. NASA buys it’s rocket motors from russia and when I helped put in the Saturn IV missile system and we had outsourced the guidance package to the red Chinese. Who taught the N.Koreans, who sell to Iran, who sell to Chaves. Our leaders are just plain stupid.


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